I'm so fucking centered right now
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
