Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
