btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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