Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He has the fingertips of a God
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