Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
