I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
