omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
