You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I have post one night stand depression
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
