So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
