im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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