Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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