you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
