I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
