just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
