she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
