I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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