I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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