The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
