Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
