She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
