I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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