I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Your cock deserves a montage
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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