Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
