who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you never un-have a 4some
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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