omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
