he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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