I want to have your abortion
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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