She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
