my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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