Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
