There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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