The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
