He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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