If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
