I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
