dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
