he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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