Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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