i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
