Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
A bitchslap is in order.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
