There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
