That's intense
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
