help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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