No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
