Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
