I just made out with a guy for $7.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
