Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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