was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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