I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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