You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
