I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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