oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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